Lucie Joy Geist: The All-American Girl
Posted: Tuesday, June 19, 2007 12:54 PM by Willie Geist
You’d think it would be hard to take a person seriously when she’s 18 inches tall, but I’ve learned over the last 96 hours that the shorter a person is, the more seriously you have to take her. I’m not sure that this applies to Dr. Ruth (4 ft, 7 in) or Danny DeVito (listed at 5 feet, but probably closer to 4 ft, 10 in), but it certainly does to babies.
When I called my Dad to tell him that Lucie Joy Geist, my brand new daughter, had been born last Thursday night, I gave him the dimensions: 6 pounds, 6 ounces and 18 inches long. His response was, “18 inches? I have switchblades bigger than that.” I had no idea my Dad carried a switchblade knife (apparently he’s in a 1950s street gang I didn’t know about), but his point was taken nevertheless: this girl is small. It’s apparently my job to make her big.
Lucie was born on Donald Trump’s birthday in a hospital room with views of Yankee Stadium. Now, some (most?) of you would say there are no two symbols that better represent what people dislike about America than Donald Trump and the New York Yankees. I happen to love both of them. I don’t want to suggest that we worship Trump in my family, but we do set up a tree and give each other gifts on his birthday every year. As for the Yankees, it gave me particular comfort in that tense delivery room to know that, just outside my window, the mighty Pinstripers were pounding the helpless Arizona Diamondbacks for a 9th consecutive win on their way to an inevitable and historic division comeback against the Red Sox.
Now if only we were celebrating a national holiday that commemorates the beautiful symbol of our great country, we could round out the All-American Trifecta. Oh wait, we were! Lucie’s birthday fell on Flag Day. Trump, the Yankees, and the American flag? We might as well have been eating apple pie and singing “The Star Spangled Banner” when she came into the world (they don’t allow baked goods in the delivery room, as it turns out).
The truth of the matter is, I would have fallen instantly head-over-heels in love with Lucie even if she wasn’t an All-American girl. She could have come out practicing her lines for an al-Qaeda terror tape and I would have cried tears of joy (just before reporting her to Homeland Security, of course).
Lucie Joy Geist is perfect. I hate to sound like a dad, but I guess I am one now.
